With all of the different directions you’re pulled in on a daily basis, trying to balance relationships with family members, friends and a significant other, it’s common to get caught up in trying to be someone you’re not, to keep everyone else happy. But by not staying true to yourself, you’re creating your own unhappiness. The relationships you keep are a reflection of the relationship you have with yourself. Here are 10 signs that you’re not being true to yourself:
1. You Judge Others
If you were ever picked on when you were younger, your parents may have told you it was due to your bully’s own insecurities, and there’s more truth to that than you might think. Lashing out at someone else by making a crude remark about their appearance, personality or lifestyle is only a reflection on the dislike you feel for yourself. When you’re not comfortable in your own skin, you look for flaws in others to exploit.
2. You Look to Others for Approval
Even if you love the boots you just bought, you’ll return them in a heartbeat if your co-worker doesn’t like them. You don’t go out unless your date is approved by your friends, and you measure your self-worth by how your boss at work treats you. If you’re constantly seeking validation from others, it’s because something is missing inside you.
3. You’re Unhappy
If you’re not staying true to yourself, you’re most likely desperately unhappy, and probably angry. You’re angry at yourself, your family, your friends… the whole world. You aren’t happy with your current situation — whatever that may be — and letting go of the fake persona is the only way to remove the anger from your life.
4. You Constantly Do Things You Dislike
Whether it’s keeping a job that you hate, staying in a loveless relationship or participating in a bad habit to keep up appearances, continuing on an unhealthy cycle that makes you unhappy will only hurt you in the end. It can lead to anxiety, depression and self-loathing. The only way to fix the feeling of being stuck is to move.
5. Your Life is Largely Controlled by Someone Else
You find that people around you are always throwing advice at you, even when you didn’t ask for it, and you take what they say to heart. Whether it’s a family member, friend or someone at work, you let others have too much control over your life. You let their unsolicited opinion affect you in ways that it shouldn’t. Learn to entertain a thought without feeling the need to accept it.
6. You Don’t Trust Your Decisions
You’re constantly changing your mind and wondering if you made the right decision. You don’t trust your instincts because you don’t think highly of yourself. Most of the time, our instincts are right. Listen to that little voice inside your head that helps guide you in the right direction.
7. You’re Too Hard on Yourself
Everyone makes mistakes every once in a while. But when you feel that you made the wrong choice, you beat yourself up about it for weeks. The harder you are on yourself, the more self-doubt you’ll begin to feel. Life is about learning and growing. Don’t sweat the small stuff, and accept that you aren’t perfect — That’s OK.
8. You Hide Your Emotions
It’s more than just putting on a brave face in a tough time. You hide all of your emotions. Anger, hurt, frustration, sadness… you bottle them up and keep them inside, in hopes that no one can get close enough to see the real you and to understand what you’re feeling. You often avoid dealing with what’s really going on, and if someone hurt you, you don’t even consider letting the person know.
9. You Feel the Need to Lie
Even if it’s a white lie, you find yourself never really telling the whole truth to anyone. A lie is a reflection of your self-confidence. You’re worried that others might not approve of the truth, so you tailor your story to fit their wants or needs. But anyone who can’t respect your truth isn’t worth your time.
10. You’re Not Following Your Heart
Trying to be someone you’re not is a battle between your head and your heart. Your head may be making the decisions, but all the while, your heart is feeling the pain of having to mask your true self. If your heart isn’t into it, whatever it is, chances are that it’s not right for you. Learn to listen to your heart and let it lead you. Trust your instincts and have faith in yourself. Self-love is the first step to becoming comfortable in your own skin.
Don’t forget to stay true to yourself!