11 Girly Things That Girls Don’t Understand

Young women are constantly pressured by advertisements, celebrities, and even their mothers to be “girly-girls,” AKA stereotypically feminine. Conducting oneself in girly ways is considered attractive to men (which is apparently what girls should be concerning themselves with). The word “feminine” is synonymous with makeup skills, the color pink, and closets full of heels. Bejeweling your computer cover is considered the ultimate girl move. SPARKLES- YAY!! Unfortunately, not all girls resonate with this gender norm. There are plenty of women out their who prefer sneakers to Louboutins, stud earrings to hoops, and hair ties to blowouts.

There’s nothing wrong with preferring one lifestyle over the other. It’s when we start making girls feel weird for not liking typically feminine activities or even for being especially girly that we cause damage. A girl’s tendency to throw on a sports bra, for example, is an expression of the personality she was born with and not a deliberate decision to “be different.” Every girl should feel free to express herself as she chooses.

I am decidedly a “low maintenance girl.”  That means I find most girly things ABSOLUTE WASTE OF TIME. Is it that weird for me to have better things to do than painting on eyeshadow in a way that will “make my eyes pop”? Or that I don’t have  an extra 30 minutes every morning to fool people into thinking I’m more attractive than I am? Ain’t nobody got time for that. I am either a rebel against societal norms or incredibly lazy. (Ehhhh, probably just lazy).

Here are a bunch of “girly” things that non girly-girls will never understand:

 

1. Manicures.

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There are three main reasons that you don’t like painting your nails. Number One: you can’t do anything when your nails are wet. It’s as boring as waiting for paint to dry (because that’s literally what you’re doing). Number two: you have to take a bunch of time out of your day to paint them. The whole process takes a least an hour and you can ruin it in ONE SECOND by opening a can of soda. Then, the paint chips off in a week and you have to do it all again (talk about a Sisyphean task).  Or, worse, you spend a bunch of money to have someone do it for you. Number Three: what’s the point? Bare nails look just as good in your non-girly girl mind. You just don’t get it.

 

2. An extensive collection of hair products.

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Putting tons of disgusting goop in your hair in order for it to “hold a certain shape?” NO THANKS. As a non-girly girl, you prefer to let hair air-dry. If you absolutely have to blow-dry it, you will, but you won’t be happy about it.

 

3. Fake eyelashes.

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The application of fake eyelashes requires a coordination that you personally do not possess. It involves squeezing just the perfect amount of glue on a small surface, applying the lash on the exact right part of your eye, and then allowing it to dry in a straight line. Mascara and eyeliner must be applied in just the right areas so that there’s not a gap between the lashes and you.  YOU ARE BUT A MERE MORTAL.

 

4. Eye shadow.

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You don’t know a lot about eyeshadow, but from the few youtube makeup videos you’ve watched in a desperate attempt to fit in, you know that it involves blending, at least four different colors, and an avoidance of the area beneath your eyebrow. *Throws entire eyeshadow palette out the window in a moment of pure panic*

 

5. Contouring.

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WHAT IS CONTOURING? The concept itself doesn’t make any sense, let alone the point of it. You’re just gonna leave that one alone.

6. Princess dresses.

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Poofy, heavy, difficult to maneuver…every thing about Princess Dresses make you say a big “No Thanks.”

 

7. High heels.

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You can’t run in high heels, you can’t jump in high heels, and you can barely walk in high heels if you’re honest with yourself. Why would you want to limit yourself like that?!

 

8. Push-up bras.

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Ugh…padding on your boobs is so uncomfortable. And it’s not like you really want the attention that bigger boobs bring, anyways.  #NotWorthIt. You much prefer a sports bra which allows to you run, jump, and dance at a moment’s notice. It’s all about spontaneity.

 

9. Lip gloss.

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Just like Regina George is demonstrating above, you can’t kiss on anyone with lip gloss. When a gust of wind comes by, stands get caught on your lips. And, really, it just feels weird to you. You’ll stick with chapstick, thanks!

 

10. Excessive jewelry

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Jewelry has no practical purpose, right? It’s there to enhance attractiveness and take attention away from mediocre features? Barf. To you, jewelry is  just another thing to spend money on and take off at the end of the night. Just because certain appendages are good for hanging things (the neck) or wrapping things around (the wrist) doesn’t mean you should hang and wrap things on them. You could spend $500 on a Tiffany’s ring or take a class in something that interests you. YOU CHOOSE KNOWLEDGE.

 

11. Hair extensions

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Gross. Heavy. Weird. These are all words that pop into your head when you think of attaching someone else’s hair to your skull. You might try extensions once in your life, but you’ll feel like a dog with a sweater on that he hates. “Get this distracting thing off of me!”

 

Are you a non girly-girl? Did you relate to any of these? Let me know in the comments below!

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