When people say things like “relationships are hard work,” what they’re often referring to are the below behaviors. The annoying truth about being in a successful partnership is that there are some things you have to do to make a relationship work that, well, suck. This isn’t even true for only romantic relationships – it goes for friendships and even relationships with family members, your boss, and co-workers. Relationships of any kind come with sacrifices, and the sooner you learn that, the better.
This isn’t to say that you have to spend most of your time feeling frustrated and annoyed. When the relationship is good – like when the person does the same for you because you both genuinely care for each other – then the efforts are worth it. In the end, the good should outweigh the bad. Yeah, you might have to make a sacrifice for bae, but if they make you happy and lift you higher, then you’re doing something right. It can just be hard to be forced to admit that the old saying “you can’t get the good without the bad” is so true. Here are the 5 worst things you have to do to make relationships work, according to this Ask Reddit thread – and if you feel like it’s not worth it, then stop!
1. The Moments You Can’t Speak Your Mind
wobblebase: Sometimes people complain about situations of their own making, and I know I just need to listen cause they’re too in it at the moment to listen to any advice or take constructive criticism. At some point in your life, you realize that there are moments when you absolutely should speak up and tell your friend/family member/S.O. the criticism they need to hear, and there are moments you need to keep your mouth shut. Sometimes you just have to let people vent or you have to let them make their own mistakes. It can be really hard to do that when you care for someone, but it’s necessary.
2. Hooking Up Even If You’re Feeling Blah About It
MoistIsANiceWord: Probably gonna get flack for this, but… Having sex when you don’t really feel in the mood. I’m not saying to never turn down your partner and lie about being “in the mood” and fake it often, but sometimes the relationship benefits from it. Haven’t had sex in a week? Your partner has been crazy mad stressed at work or school? Been fighting a lot lately? Sex has a lot of power to improve the status quo, so forcing sex every once in a while can work wonders to bring change to a relationship dynamic when timed right. Okay, yes, this person definitely has a point, even if it sounds weird. There is a fine line between feeling forced into sex and doing it for your partner and it can be hard to find. The bottom line is this: never force yourself to have sex with someone if you feel uncomfortable or you really don’t want to do it. It is ALWAYS okay to say no. But if it’s been a while and you’re just a little tired but could see yourself doing it and then enjoying it, then push yourself to do it. It can help!
3. Pretending To Be Interested In Something For Them
mypastamistakes: Pretending that I care about things that I don’t care about or find stunningly boring. Sometimes you just have to suck it up and listen. This doesn’t mean pretending to like something you hate to impress bae – it means doing something for them because they like it. Example: I am not into cars or car shows, but my boyfriend lives for these things. I go to car shows with him sometimes because I know he loves it. Relationships are a give or take with this type of stuff, and while it sucks when you’re the one giving, it definitely feels good when they do it back for you.
4. Having To Deal With Their Friends You Don’t Like
searedscallops: Accepting that “my people” have relationships with other people who are complete idiots and/or are people-users. Just – ARGH! – could you please only surround yourself with high-quality people? Whether it’s a best friend, your sibling, or your significant other, you probably have to deal with at least one of their friends who you don’t like. It’s beyond annoying to have to put up with that person just because your other person likes them. But, sometimes you have to suck it up.
5. Having To Know When To Stop Talking
AsteroidShark: Trying to give someone your honest opinion in appropriate doses. I think that openness and honesty is important but you can only give so much truth without killing a friendship sometimes. “Why yes, actually, I do think you’re kind of a judgmental mean girl in denial about your low self esteem…” Part of being a good friend or partner is knowing what to say – and part of that is knowing when to stop being honest. It can be tough to figure out the line, because it’s different for everyone.