From family members to friends, coworkers and just about everyone else in life, it seems everyone has a pretty strong opinion regarding our choices.
People may ask you to justify your choices.
You might think you have an obligation to fulfill those requests – particularly if you’re a friendly person who wishes to avoid confrontation.
But according to psychologist and blogger David K. William, there are certain questions that require no response other than “That’s none of your business.”
You can save yourself a lot of trouble and self-doubt by recognizing those questions and topics and standing your ground when they arise.
To help you do that, let’s explore…
8 Things You Don’t Owe Anyone An Explanation For
1. Your Living Circumstances
Whether you live with your parents or by yourself in a condo, you owe absolutely nobody an explanation for where you live.
Unless someone is offering to help you pay the bills, they have no right to ask “How do you afford to pay for this place?” or “Aren’t you tired of living with your parents?”
2. Your Values
It’s one thing when a friend inquires about your values in an attempt to better understand you and your worldview. It’s a completely different thing when anyone (including a friend) pressures you to justify your values in response to a particular decision you’ve made.
You don’t have to entertain that sort of pressure. State your values as respectfully as possible and continue to live by them. That’s all you need to do.
3. An Apology
You don’t automatically owe someone an apology because they were offended by what you said or did. In fact, if you think you were in the right, don’t apologize at all. You’ll only make things worse.
If you’re not sorry, don’t try to mend open wounds by saying you are. Wait until you really do feel remorse. If you never do? Well then maybe what you did or said was the right thing.
4. Alone Time
Sometimes, when you decide to take that alone time, people may respond negatively and accuse you of being anti-social or placing yourself above the social gatherings you may be neglecting for the sake of alone time.
It can be tempting to respond and try to justify your choice but it’s not necessary. You’re taking time for you. Unless the person questioning you has some sort of magic potion that’s going to instantly provide you with the pleasure that comes from alone time, you need not justify yourself.
5. Your Physical Appearance
When it comes to your physical appearance, you are obligated only to yourself and your health. That’s it.
Disparaging looks from a stranger on the subway require no justification on your part. You don’t need to tell anyone “Hey, I suffer from _____ and that’s why I look like this.”
6. Your Sex Life
Whether you’re waiting for marriage, you sleep around or experiment with unconventional sexual situations, that’s your call. As long as you’re gaining consent, your sexual decisions are between you and your partner(s).
Your friends, your coworkers or people who like to gossip about you? They aren’t obligated to an explanation.
7. Your Political and Religious Views
Is it possible to engage in a lengthy discussion without political or religious views being dragged in the mix? I’m sure it is. Not that you’d be able to tell based on the way many conversations seem to go.
You might feel the urge to justify your views and make the other person look like a fool for doubting them but let’s be honest. You’re never going to do that.
People are opinionated, especially when it comes to things like politics and religion. As long as your views make sense to you and do not infringe upon the rights of others, you don’t have to explain them to anybody. It’s not going to do you much good.
8. A Date
Just because someone asks you for a date doesn’t mean they’re obliged to one.
Whether you’re male or female, you have every right to turn their request down without providing an explanation to them or anyone else.
Would it be nice of you to tell someone why you’re rejecting them? Certainly. But you don’t have to – especially if you’re not comfortable.