From The Heart: 5 Ways To Keep Social Media From Ruining Your Relationship

5 Ways To Keep Social Media From Ruining Your Relationship

Our lovely blog reader Oyenike Jimoh has contributed to our ‘From The Heart’ feature – a weekly Sunday spot on the blog where we hand the blog back over to our readers to write about all matters of love and life.

Whether you’re in a long-term relationship or married, Facebook, and the Internet in general, can be sources of temptation and drama. We all know Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr and Vine are way more fun when you can post photos and videos of that special someone you enjoying spending time with. However, social media can be dangerous to any relationship if used incorrectly! Be sure to avoid making mistakes that can throw your relationship into risky waters.

Take into account the following 5 tips to keep social media from ruining your relationship……

1. Stop accepting Friend requests from old flames

Friend requests from old flames can lead to affairs. Indeed, most of the affairs start—not when the former lovers are miserable—but when their lives are going well. Especially in the Internet Age, where finding one another can and does happen on a whim, people report reconnections that are innocent in their intent—just to see how the other is doing and share some memories.

2. Avoid Over-Sharing About Your Relationship

If you’re not aware how your partner feels about PODA (Public Online Displays of Affection), you should check—it’s important to respect those boundaries. Posting about your relationship online without your partner’s consent is inconsiderate.

3. Avoid Keeping in Touch With Your Ex

While you and your ex may have managed to stay friends, you shouldn’t be actively interacting with him through social media by liking all his statuses and posting cutesy comments on his photos. Exes are a touchy subject in any relationship, and cyber-flaunting the fact that you’re friends with someone you used to date isn’t ever a good idea.

4. Stop Being “Single” Online but “In a Relationship” in Real Life

People might not need to know the ins and outs of your relationship. But they should at LEAST know you are married or in a relationship so that the lines don’t get blurred or any false messages are sent out. I can’t tell you the amount of times  I hear people complain, “ I didn’t know they were married until it was too late.” (“Too late” usually means feelings have developed)

5. You Must Have Some Limitations

Social media is so accessible we don’t realize the amount of time we spend on it.  Furthermore, we don’t see how much it bothers our mates to have to compete with it. Place some limitations on yourself. For instance, after a certain time, you unplug. No electronics during dinner or during dates. Whatever you have to do, try to do it so  your mate knows he or she is most important to you in the time you all spend together instead of the online friends we spend so much time keeping up with.

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If you would like to contribute a From The Heart piece, we would dearly love to hear from you. It doesn’t matter what it’s about and it doesn’t have to be related to weddings at all – we’re looking for honest, authentic, personal, sad, happy, family, relationship, marriage, health, light-hearted, serious, baby, trying for baby, children, career, simple, complicated – real life issues. We just need you to write from your heart. Keep it upbeat and witty, or share your thoughts anonymously on a more challenging or emotional subject. Please drop me a line at realafricanweddings@gmail.com

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